There’s this tight, specific, overwhelming feeling when you’re so in love with someone. It boils your blood and makes your knee caps feel like they’re oozing into gelatin and all the other crazy truisms you can vaguely imagine your body lapsing into. Clichés we have read about over and over again. But I think friendship sort of encompasses all those literary stereotypes into one fixed, beautifully solid emotion. Lovers come and go and rip your insides out through your nostrils, but friends remain. Like a giant safety blanket you can grasp on to and still feel secured by even in the deepest of sleeps.
- Mood:
cold - Music:yann tiersen- "comtine d'un autre ete"
i'm trying very hard here to up and go this awful moody slump i've been in for the past three days, but i can't seem to fight it off. it doesn't seem as if i've done anything remotely noteworthy this vacation and that gets me so down, because i had high hopes. i've also let my mom down because i walked luke only a block today and when she met me at bay street i turned around and walked back home instead of keeping her company. i know it's not a very big deal, but i felt guilty.
i'm a guilt-stricken recluse. great.
i'm not sure what the deal is boy-wise with me because they seem to come and go lately. less coming more going (pun!) but i think i've finally learned not to dwell on that junk because i know it really is just a waste of time.
in other news, i got my second trimester report card which made this month so wonderful :)! i was also asked to submit my short story to the "westchester young writers competition" sweet! i don't find out where i place until mid-april, but i'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best!! i really am sorry i haven't been posting any pictures, but when i de-lazy myself i promise to.
license countdown= 2 weeks!
- Mood:
optimistic - Music:um, the walk to remember soundtrack...
pantsuit uggh: you missed the greatest thing ever, by the way
pantsuit uggh: zeke was hanging out with me at my gate
pantsuit uggh: and went to get chinese food
pantsuit uggh: and he ordered, and the chinese woman at the cashier was like
pantsuit uggh: "BOB MARREEEY!!!"
stringg bean: HAHAHAHAHAHAA
stringg bean: OMG
pantsuit uggh: and zeke was like "NO! ITS NOT BOB MARLEY!"
stringg bean: THAT'S SO AMAZING
- Mood: hungry
- Music:kevin devine
theseidel: ;-)
haha. also, FOUR AND A HALF WEEKS 'TIL LICENSE TIME!!
- Mood:
giggly - Music:brighten
- Music:imogen heap
ben comes home in exactly six days which means i see him in about twelve or so.
i'm petrified. completely petrified.
i know that the more i speak to him, the worse it is, but spending a weekend with him?! him being away has been healthy for me.
what is this going to be like all over again?
my whole body is buzzing. i've been recollecting all the weird things we've done to eachother. we torture eachother. we try and try and try to get eachother jealous, and he has been (figuratively) eating away at my body for so long and i am so tired. i am so, so tired. i don't know what to expect but i know that seeing him is not going to be good for me at all. i don't have a choice though. i was asked to participate at the limmud conference again and i can't pass this up, but i just.....i don't know. a whole weekend with him. i don't know!
i want him to kiss me. i don't want him to kiss me. i want him to, but he won't.
i'm messy. i'm petty.
messy and petty.
- Music:the smiths
check it out!
- Mood: hungry
- Music:chicago- "if you leave me now"
just ben sending his regards to my lj readers from madrid!
- Mood: full
- Music:coldplay
i am a homewrecker.
casino royale was so long!
- Mood: cold
- Music:damien rice
[sorry to be so crude but] my youknowwhat is growing spiderwebs, i swear to god.
- Mood:
scared - Music:cat power
here goes.
as usual, nothing is new over here. school has been going so marvelously though. my grades have been really great (with the exception of rabbinics.)
today i handed in my "smooth endoplasmic reticulum" paper for biology which was a huge burden up until now.
i also made a 3D model of it out of neon sculpy (clay that you can bake). it really stunk up the house when i put it in the oven, but it looked sort of neat & was worth it in the end.
as for tonight, we had our first YJ club meeting of the year! i made a nice tzedakah box and ate my body mass in pringles.
also, i should mention that my thanksgiving was fun! kaley and her family/a bunch of others came over for dinner which was nice as usual.
then our family friends from missouri came in friday night.
saturday night emily, amy, and i went into the city to eat a lot of chinese food and smoke a lot of hookah which made me really dizzy.
on sunday i became a hermit and did work and moped around.
i've come to the realization that if i am not with my friends or if i am sitting at home, i am miserable.
bad news: tower records has officially gone out of business! i feel so ashamed to be one of many illegal downloaders!
- Mood:
moody - Music:wilco
or is it just that we're addicted to the exquisite pain of wanting someone unattainable?
- Mood:
confused - Music:the magic numbers
it breaks my heart to see you hanging from your shelf.
- Mood:
sick - Music:old weezer
- Music:mirah mirah mirahhhh all i listen to is mirah
i've realized that good things certainly DO NOT come in small packages.
the good news is ben is back in israel from his trip to russia, poland, and prague so now he has internet access. we got to speak tonight which was nice.
he sent me a few pictures, but this one is my favorite:
i promise to post about more worthwhile things tomorrow!
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:mirah
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:supertramp
i went into the city today with vinnie and emily. it was nice. we spent most of the time chasing after vinnie who is a ridiculously fast walker. i had excellent pizza in a place that plays modest mouse!! we went to urban outfitters and anthropologie (extremely disappointed) and then to american apparel. we also had a nice run-in with zeke down by NYU and spent some time checking out the kama sutra books in barnes and noble.
- Mood:
weird - Music:tilly and the wall
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